Mental Health and Wellness – Things Are Not Memories

Things are not memories nor are they the people who owned them, gave them too you, or left them behind. If you have read my blog or you know me, you will also know that my eldest son Ryan died in 2007. We are coming up to the 2 year anniversary (28th August, 2009). As you can imagine, working through such a life changing event, it’s really important to take care of your mental health and wellness.

Have you ever lost someone you loved? I bet most of you have, if it was someone really close to you, you may have been faced with the task of sorting through their possessions – clothes, books, personal items, mementos, sporting trophies…….all kinds of things. We all have a different strategy for dealing with this situation, some dive in and get it sorted straight away either due to necessity (the house needs to be sold or handed back to the landlord) or because you just want to ‘get it done’ others like to preserve the room as it was and spend time sitting in there remembering, others just can’t face it at all. There are lots of scenarios and combinations of reasons and ideas around this. You just need to do what feels right for you.

In the months after Ryan’s death the sight of his room and his things certainly bought me to tears, it was hard to believe one of my gorgeous boys no longer walked this earth, no longer here for me to hug and tell him I love him ‘lots and lots and more and more and lots and lots’ (a tradition from when the boys were little and asked ‘how much to do you love me Mummy?’); he was no longer here slamming doors (he was noisy as he went about his business) and lighting up rooms, bringing smiles to people’s faces and laughing with that wonderful contagious laugh. He chatted incessantly, till I would ask him for the edited version of a story and he was passionate about the things that were important to him. He thought his younger brother Bryce was fabulous, they were best mates. He loved a family or social occasion; he was an all round nice guy – loved by all who had the pleasure of spending time with him. So to stand at his bedroom door or lie on his bed seeing what he saw when he was in his room was just so very hard back in those days. The balance between grieving in a way that is congruent with mental health and wellness , given the circumstances, and feeling totally unhinged was a very fine line indeed.

At that time I was experiencing all kinds of emotions, sometimes I was sad beyond words, others I was angry or felt guilty (after all I was a Mum I should have been able to make this right) I had times of total disbelief and others of inconsolable grief and despair. All part of the process of dealing with the unthinkable. I was so lucky to have a good grounding in mental health and wellness, given my past training plus a wonderful support network, yet some days were just plan hard. Over time I had the odd better moment, then maybe a day when I didn’t cry, eventually I had more good days than sad days, and finally life took on a new normal. I had chosen to live my life. In fact my son had set a fabulous example he had lived a life of joy and enthusiasm.

A few months after Ryan’s death I had decided to sort through his clothes, however others who were very close to Ryan were not ready for that and I packed them back into the wardrobe again. Time went by and for a long while it just felt too hard. However in recent months the room started to feel ‘heavy’ for me and I knew I needed to make a move. Funny how not doing it was preserving my mental health and wellness at one point and then later not doing it was having a different impact! I floated the idea with Bryce (my younger son) who offered to help and we spent a day together in Ryan’s room sorting through everything, school books, photos, clothes, soccer and cricket trophies, paperwork, things from his 3 months traveling the world. We created piles of things we thought would be special to others, kept some things we just couldn’t throw or give away yet and everything else was bundled up and taken to the local charity shop – I was feeling so much lighter. Thank goodness Bryce is not a hoarder either! We moved the future into the shed, including the desk my parents gave me on my 8th birthday (it was way past time to let that one go) and it is all being collected by a charity for re -gifting or resale.

The room now feels lighter, there is a different bed in there with a different quilt, and it is uncluttered and has a whole new feel. In fact, I have a whole new feel , and outlook too. It has had a really positive impact on my overall mental health and wellness. I am planning to put something new on the wall and maybe even paint it a fresh new color. Ryan’s room is now a spare room or guest room in our home.

So why am I telling you all of this – because it struck me that we often ‘hang on’ to things in our life as a representation of a memory or person. We won’t part with things we no longer have use for because Great Aunt Dorothy gave that to us, or it belonged to a grandparent or parent. We equate the thing with a memory, the person or feeling, however things are NOT the memory they may provoke the memory when we hold or look at them. If we let go of all the things we no longer have a use for we do not let go of the memory, that memory stays with us forever and can be recalled whenever we like. I believe this also has a very positive impact on our individual mental health and wellness and of course the flow on effect to those around us.

So let’s be real about this, if I kept everything that Ryan ever owned how would that help me? A room of clutter that was not useful to anyone and held me and my family stuck in the sadness of our loss. In letting go of the ‘things’ I feel lighter and freer and have gifted everything that was useful to others and kept the things Bryce or I were not yet ready to let go of, I have no doubt over time that collection will also diminish.

I have wonderful memories of my gorgeous boys; both of them, of the joy of being their Mum and watching them grow into wonderful young men, making their way in the world having some interesting life experiences, what a gift. As a Mum I don’t need anything to remember every moment of my time with them. Above all I owe it to those two beautiful boys to be an example of mental health and wellness, I certainly want to be able to show Bryce the way to live an outrageously healthy happy life.

So what are you holding onto in your life that could be used by someone else, what baggage are you holding onto either physically or emotionally. I believe part of living an outrageously healthy life is finding appropriate ways to deal with life’s challenges. Let’s face it not every moment of our lives is filled with sweetness and light, it’s a life of contrast. We have a fabulous opportunity while on this earth to share of ourselves with the world in all our magnificence.

So this is my gift to you today ‘Things are not memories nor are they the people who owned them, gave them too you, or left them behind!’ Give yourself the gift of letting go of any baggage either physical or emotional, allow yourself to experience the joys of mental health and wellness everyday, and live your best, most outrageously healthy life.

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How Do Online Health and Beauty Retailers Get More Sales?

The international marketplace that the internet has created has not only meant that a huge number of people have all become potential clients, but also that shops trading online have found that it can be increasingly difficult to stand out from the crowd. For health and beauty retailers this has meant that they are competing with similar size online presences from around the world. This article will look at how these retailers can compete in this new online world.

Cosmetics retailers can often find themselves competing with retailers operating on the other side of the world, this can mean that companies that have very low comparative overheads can be undercutting a more local retailer. For the owner of that website this can be a stressful occurrence, they can feel as if they are powerless to fight against this other business. But there are a number of ways that Health and Beauty retailers can start to compete online.

One way to increase their websites presence is to do some sort of online marketing and advertising. There are many ways this can be done, from optimising their site so that search engines more readily value their websites information, to placing advertising on popular search engines so that when people search for product that, for example, the cosmetics firm sells then adverts for their site are displayed. This advertising is often referred to as pay-per-click and can work out as a very cost effective way of getting people to a website. As the name suggests, the advertiser only pays when the prospective customer actually clicks on the advert.

These techniques are applicable regardless of the products being sold, whether it is ghost perfume or aussie hair products, the techniques to make the website successful stand.

Other ways to promote your site actually take place on your site. Creating a source of information about the industry that the Health and Beauty site operates within can, in the longer term, mean that people are drawn to the site for the information it contains, they should then be more likely to buy from that site. One way to do this is to create a section of the site where the company can easily insert information, a blog is a popular way to do this. If the blog is filled with interesting industry news and insight then people will be drawn to it as an information source. What is more, this constant increase of new information will actually increase the sites standings within the search engines, as they really like to see new information updated regularly.

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Benefits of Health and Beauty Blog For Patients

These days, internet has become a very important part of our life. We all rely on internet for finding solutions to our problems. No matter what your problem is you can find solution to any and every problem of yours. There are many forms by which you find answers to the problems. One very common thing which you will find on internet these days are blogs. Anyone can write blogs on any topic on which he wants to. Blogs are basically a write up through which a person shares his experiences and thoughts on a particular topic. There are available lots of website which especially hire people or pay people for contributing blogs to their website. If you also have any experience to share with rest of the world then you will not get better platform than internet. If you find some information regarding any topic you write the topic in the search box and you get the results matching with your search.

Generally blogging website divides the blogs into different categories so that searching can become easier. One section of blogs which is searched by large number of people all around the world is health blog. You will find large number of health blogs on internet written by different people and experts which prove to be quite helpful to people who are in search of such blogs. In most of the cases people get to know good things about issues related to health and in this way health blog is quite useful to them. But there is always some bad side of a good thing. This also happens in the case of blogging. There are some bloggers who write blogs just for making money and sometimes misguide people who are going to read their blogs. It is advisable that a person should not follow something written in a blog blindly. Rather one should take it as a reference and then search more on the advice given in a particular blog so that he does not end up making a wrong decision. Our health is very important and we should not make any wrong decision regarding it.

Other type of blog which is searched by people in large amount is beauty blog. There are available so many beauty products of different brands that a person gets confused when he has to choose one. In such a situation that person can look upon beauty blogs for getting away with the confusion. There are many beauty experts who write their blogs about different beauty problems that people face and thus try to solve similar problem of thousands of people with just one blog. If you want to know about some particular product then you can check product reviews posted by people who have used that particular product.

In short one can say that blogs available on internet are quite helpful in letting people what is wrong and what is right in concern to their health and beauty. Both health and beauty are very sensitive issues and should be handled very carefully. Refer to health blogs and beauty blogs for seeking help but do not rely on them completely. Use your brain in order to gauge which reference out of all is the best.

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